Just Breathe
by RemyMcKwakker
Summary: Drake can't wait until Josh is home from college. No slash.


**I'm on a roll. Second _Drake and Josh_ story in like, two days.**

**A/N 2: I've corrected some mistakes I found while proofreading it - after I published it. I'm an idiot.**

* * *

Drake fumbles around with his phone for a few seconds before finally managing to answer it and end its incessant shrieking. "Hello?" he mumbles sleepily.

"Hey there, Drake," greets Josh cheerfully.

Instantly awake and smiling, Drake answers, "Hey, Josh. What's up?"

"Nothing, just felt like talking to you," Josh tells him. Translation: _I miss you_.

"Yeah, we haven't talked in a bit," Drake says. "So how's it going? How's college?" _I miss you too, bro._

"Everything's fine," replies Josh, sounding happy. "Just got exams coming up, so I'm studying hard."

"Aw, too bad," sympathizes Drake. "I'm glad I decided not to go to college," he adds as an afterthought. "It sounds stressful."

"It is," Josh says. "But that's okay. I'm enjoying it. You tell me, how's the music coming on?"

"Yeah, the music's good," Drake tells him absently. "I just get bored a lot these days."

"How come?"

"Well, Megan's in high school and just doesn't have time to bother me anymore, and you're not here," Drake says.

"There's your band," Josh points out.

"Yeah, Josh, but it's weird talking to them about anything other than the music," Drake says. "There's really no one I can talk to here."

There is a pause, after which Josh says, "I'm sorry, Drake."

"Don't be stupid," Drake tells him. "It's not your fault."

"All the same," Josh replies, "maybe I should call more."

Drake knows he'd like that, but he'd hate to be the reason Josh fails his exams. So he says, "No, it's okay. You concentrate on getting through college, and then you can come back and be my manager again."

Josh laughs. "Yeah, that sounds good," he says. He hesitates a little, before adding, "I miss you, you know."

Drake softens. "I miss you too," he admits. "It's just not the same without you, Josh."

"Yeah," Josh reflects. "Same goes for you. It's so incredibly lonely here, sometimes I feel as if I'll go insane if I don't study."

"Funny, I feel like I'll go insane if I study," Drake cracks, and Josh laughs again.

"You don't have to study any more," he reminds his brother. "How long is it till the album comes out?"

"I don't know," Drake says. "I can't decide which songs to put on it, and some of them aren't even complete yet."

Josh asks, "There's something else, isn't it?"

"How did you know?" Drake isn't even surprised. Josh has always been able to read him like his Chemistry textbooks.

"I can tell," Josh says, and Drake acquiesces.

"All right," he sighs. "I want you to be there when it's released."

Josh does not answer for a few seconds, and when he does he sounds genuinely overwhelmed. "Wow, that's ... I don't even ... thanks, Drake."

Drake smiles, even though Josh can't see it. "You're my brother, Josh."

"Yeah," Josh says, and the pride in his voice makes Drake so happy even he can't believe it. "I got to go now," Josh says, cutting Drake's euphoria short. "I've got studying to do."

"Dude, it's Sunday," Drake points out, horrified. Isn't there, like, a law or something, banning studying on weekends?

"I know, Drake, but I can't help it," Josh explains patiently. "I really need to pass these exams so I can graduate."

Drake brightens as he realizes that this means Josh will be home in a just a few more weeks. "Awesome," he declares. "Hurry up, then."

And Josh laughs once more. "Yeah, I just wish things would speed up so I could be home again."

"Best of luck," offers Drake, and he means it.

"Thanks, Drake," says Josh softly. "You take care of yourself, okay, brother?"

"You too," Drake tells him. "Bye."

"Bye," replies Josh. He hangs up.

Drake is left staring at the phone and wishing Josh is home already. Life just feels so empty without him, and there's an ache in his heart that never goes away, only intensifies every time he opens his wallet and sees that picture of Josh and him Walter took just before Josh left for college. It has been four years now, four long and lonely years, and Drake is yearning for the moment when he'll see Josh again.

Since it's no use going back to sleep Drake decides to get out of bed. He washes up before going to the kitchenette in a corner and preparing breakfast.

His apartment is small and sparsely furnished, but still homely. However, it's been more of a house than a home ever since Josh left for college, even though Josh only lived in here for a couple of weeks. The thought makes Drake's chest tighten until he can't breathe, and he knows he has to hear Josh's voice again before he completely breaks apart.

It's not a new feeling; he's had an on-and-off romance with it ever since Josh left. And even though Josh calls him every weekend, he just feels so empty and incomplete, sometimes even unloved because there's no one around to say "HUG ME BROTHA!" or to make him smile again when he's down and feels like the world hates him.

So he almost runs back to his bed and picks up his cell phone, dialing Josh. "I miss you," he bursts out the moment Josh picks up. "I really miss you, man!"

"Drake," Josh says, his voice soothing, comfort and home and happiness all rolled up into one. "Calm down, Drake. Just breathe. Come on, Drake. Just breathe, bro."

And Drake obeys, simply because it is Josh who is saying so. When the ache in his heart has subsided to a tolerable level, he says, "I'm sorry I interrupted your studying, man, but it just hurt so much, I just _had_ to talk to you ..." He's rambling, not caring what he's saying, not caring that he's just destroyed his own walls.

"I miss you too, bro," Josh tells him, his voice soft and comforting. "It's just a matter of time - I'll be back before you know it."

"I'll hold you to that," Drake says. They talk of mundane things before Josh excuses himself to return to his studying.

* * *

Drake sleeps for most of the day. It's evening when he wakes up, and there are corny movies on TV but he doesn't feel like watching them because Josh is not here and he's sure the loneliness is eventually going to kill him.

Josh calls at ten and wishes him good night, and Drake knows it's also to make sure he's okay. The gesture reduces him to uncharacteristic tears, and God, he feels like such a girl, but he keeps his composure while talking with Josh and only breaks down when Josh has hung up.

That night, instead of sleeping, he reviews the last four years in his mind.

Josh, when he got his acceptance letter.

Josh, and his decision to pursue a degree in public relations so he could be a better manager for Drake. It meant a lot, to both of them.

Josh, and how he made Audrey cry when they dropped him off to college, while Walter watched with pride in his eyes and Megan acted indifferent. And Drake ... Drake refused to say goodbye, he only hugged his brother for a second, and then smiled and said, "Later, man."

Josh, and his daily calls to Drake for the first two months.

Josh, and that expression of pride and joy on his face when he came home for Christmas to find out Drake now had an apartment of his own. Correction: Drake _and Josh_ now had an apartment of their own.

Josh, and his decision to spend the summer over at campus so he could take extra classes and graduate early, even though it sucked to be away from Drake for so long.

Josh, and that look of stunned happiness when Drake drove over and stayed with him for the summer.

Josh, and the pride in his voice when he introduced Drake to his roommate and teachers.

Josh, and the hoarseness of his voice when he called Drake in the middle of the night, simply because he missed him.

Josh, and the tears in his voice when Drake called him on his birthday.

Josh. Josh. Josh.

Unable to help himself, Drake dials Josh again. This time, when he picks up, he sounds sleepy. "Hello?"

"Hey, Josh."

"Drake. Hey," replies Josh, his voice turning from sleepy to happy at the speed of light. "Everything okay, bro?"

"Everything's fine," Drake answers. "You okay?"

"I'm good," Josh says. "Just fell asleep while studying."

"Josh, it's midnight," Drake points out. "Haven't you done enough studying?"

"I don't know, Drake," Josh says. "Have I?"

"Probably," Drake answers. "Look, just go to bed, all right? Your exams aren't for another week. You're going to be fine."

Josh seems to consider this, and then says, "Okay, Drake. If you say so," in a surprisingly docile tone.

"Good," Drake says, satisfied. "Bye, then."

"Bye."

* * *

The next three weeks are over faster than Drake expects, and they have gone rather well comparatively. He's managed to finish a few more songs, he's almost decided on what songs he'll put on the album, and Josh is going to be home.

The day before Josh is supposed to come, he calls. "Hey, Drake."

"Hey, Josh." Drake is trying, he really is, but he cannot contain the excitement in his voice. "How's it going? How'd your last exam go?"

"I think I'm going to ace it," Josh tells him confidently. "It went wonderfully."

"Good, that's good," Drake says. "So, you're coming home for good, huh?"

"Yeah." Josh sounds so happy that for a moment Drake wonders if it's a dream. Then he rids his head of all pessimistic thoughts and listens as Josh continues, "I'll leave campus at around 9 in the morning tomorrow, and I should be home by 4 or 5 in the evening."

"Great," Drake says. "I can't wait," he adds. He knows it's uncharacteristic of him, because he's _Drake Parker_, but screw it. This is Josh.

"I can't either," Josh tells him. "Oh boy, it's been, what, a year and a half?"

"Yeah," Drake says, almost choking. "Yeah, it's been that long since we last saw each other."

"Whoa, man," Josh says in a much more subdued tone. "That's ... I should have come home for the holidays."

"No, it's okay," Drake says quickly. "At least you got time enough to study."

"Yeah, but Drake ... it's not fair on you," Josh says quietly.

"Josh, you've always wanted this," Drake reminds him. "It doesn't matter now, anyway. This time tomorrow, you'll be home."

"It _does_ matter, Drake," insists Josh, but Drake doesn't want to hear any more.

"Shut up, Josh," he says wearily, and to his relief Josh laughs.

"Okay, Drake," he says. "I'll see you tomorrow, then?"

"You can count on it," Drake answers.

* * *

It is with great difficulty that Drake manages to go to sleep that night, and when he does he dreams.

_"Josh!" he calls. "Check this out!"_

_"I'm coming!" Josh calls back. "Wait for me!"_

_They're in some sort of forest, judging by the trees around them. They're in a small round clearing, where the trees aren't as dense and the sun shines through the foliage above. But it's not right; Drake is sure that sunshine isn't supposed to be this red._

_He's standing next to a pond of sorts, which seems to be frozen over. The water visible through the translucent ice is pitch-black and mysterious. It fascinates Drake, who finds himself drawn to it._

_Josh finally reaches Drake's side and says, "Whoa. What is it?"_

_"I don't know," answers Drake. "Do you think we can walk over it?"_

_"I don't think we should," cautions Josh. "We don't know what it is."_

_"Come on, man," Drake tells him. "I'm _Drake Parker_. I wanna see what happens."_

_"Drake, no," Josh begins, but it is too late; Drake is already stepping out on the ice while Josh watches helplessly. This cannot be good, he is sure of it. He knows he can walk across and just drag his brother back, but he doesn't, for some reason. He just watches._

_When Drake is halfway across the surface of the pond, the ice cracks suddenly and Drake slips, falling into the cold, unforgiving water below. He screams, because it's cold, it's so cold, and he can't breathe, and where is Josh? Help, Josh, please help me, save me, but he's not sure if Josh can hear him because his whole body's on fire, how is he even still alive?_

_And there's yelling, but he's not sure if it's him or Josh or voices inside his head that mock him and taunt him and jeer at him, and he struggles, he tries, but he can't, it's too cold, and his limbs are lead and his brain is slow, is this what dying feels like? He doesn't like it, it hurts, please Josh please, save me._

_His whole body's beginning to go numb and he's sure this is the end, what else can it be because only death can hurt this bad, and oh God, please let it end, please, it hurts, it hurts, Josh, I want Josh. And then there are warm hands around his wrists, and he's being dragged up and there are fiery knives stabbing into every part of his body and he can't remember what it's like to be warm and safe and what's going on, it hurts._

_And he can't breathe, there's a ton of pressure on his chest and he can't breathe, he's trying, he really is, and then he hears a voice that must surely be an angel._

_"Drake! Drake, wake up, bro! Come on, Drake, please!"_

_And he gasps and wrenches his eyes open and it's so bright, is this heaven? But it's all red, isn't heaven supposed to be white or something, and where's Josh? He's sure he heard him but he can't see him, and before he can force his waterlogged brain to work it out he is pulled into a warm embrace and held against a strong chest with a heart beating rapidly inside, and he wonders if maybe it's okay after all._

_"Just breathe, Drake, just breathe ..."_

_And he does, and it feels so good, he feels alive, and it still hurts but now he knows he's going to be okay, because he did what Josh said. And he breathes and breathes and breathes._

Drake wakes with a start. God, that was creepy. And it's probably the most vivid dream he's ever had, because he usually just forgets all his dreams. He sits up and looks around, tries not to see the other bed in the room that's been slept in only a few times, and decides to get up.

It's 2.30 a.m., and as Drake washes his face and stares at the bags under his eyes and his disheveled hair, he realizes he knows exactly what to do now.

* * *

It is half past eight when he gets to Josh's college, and when he has parked the car he sprints across the parking lot, across the manicured lawn and straight into the hostel. He runs until he comes to Josh's door, and then he bursts in without bothering to knock.

"Josh!" he pants, but there is no Josh, only a bewildered guy with blond hair and blue eyes staring at him.

"He's not here right now," says the guy, Josh's roommate Paul. "You're his brother, aren't you?"

Drake nods. He notices Josh's bags on his bed, all packed and ready. "Where is he?" he asks, his heart racing. He's so close.

"I think he went to talk to Professor McCarthy, he said something about -" but Drake is already out the door.

He's running so fast he barely registers the other people in the hallway - until he crashes into one of them and falls to the floor. "Watch where you're going!" he snaps angrily, feeling a sharp pain in his side.

"Drake?" the person he crashes into says, voice full of surprise. "Wha - what're you doing here?"

Drake looks up and his mouth falls open. "Josh!" he exclaims happily, all thoughts of pain forgotten. He scrambles to his feet. "Josh," he says again, simply because he can't believe it.

Josh takes Drake's hand, and helps him regain his balance. "What're you doing here?" he asks again, his smile growing wider.

"I came to get you," Drake tells him.

Josh is rendered speechless. Drake smiles at the expression on his face, but stops when the ache in his heart returns in full-force. He's seeing his brother after a year and a half. Josh. Josh. Josh is home.

So he does the only logical thing he can think of - he throws his arms around Josh's neck and holds on tight, holds on like there's no tomorrow, because right now there is just him and Josh, Josh and him, _Drake and Josh_ and nothing else matters. He doesn't realize he's begun sobbing until Josh's arms tighten around him and hold him tightly and securely, and by then he's crying so hard he finds it hard to breathe.

"Josh ... Josh ... _Josh_ ..." is all he can bring himself to repeat, because he never wants to be separated from his brother, his life, ever again.

And Josh runs his fingers through his brother's hair and whispers, "It's okay, Drake. I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere. Just breathe, brother. Just breathe, and we'll be okay."

And eventually, Drake does so. He breathes, and he is alive again.

* * *

**I'll be honest, this was inspired by two anonymous reviews on my story _Done and Undone. _One of them said I should write more for _Drake and Josh_, and this popped into my mind after I did a little thinking on how Drake would live while Josh was at college. Because Josh will very obviously go to college, and Drake very obviously will not, no matter what.**

**Man, I wish the series hadn't ended. So what if they're too old now? Who said there is no such thing as adult _Drake and Josh_? I'd love that, and I'm sure many other people would too.**

**Well, at least Drake Bell and Josh Peck's bromance keeps me alive and happy.**

**End rambling.**

**Reviews are extremely appreciated, because I've worked unusually hard on this one.**

**-Peace**


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